Ever heard the expression a “marriage is like a fine bottle of wine, it gets better with time”. Well, I can attest to that. It sure does taste like fine wine the longer we grow older, I mean wiser.
However, that will depend on the kind of marriage you are building. You can have a marriage that stands the test of time. But the question is “Is it a happy marriage”?
You see there are many couples that stay together for many reasons, for convenience, for the kids, because they are used to each other, etc. And those are all good reasons. In fact, those are all valid reasons.
But some of those marriages lack something very important for it to be like a “fine wine” and that is love. And I’m not talking about friendship love. We all can have that. I’m talking about the real kind of love. The one it takes your breath away. The passion kind of love, that after so many years you still have the most amazing sexual connection. And that my friends, is the “icing on the cake” when it comes to a marriage that withstands the test of time.
If you and your spouse reach the empty nester stage and you still connect in the most intimate way a couple can, then you have reached the level of “fine wine” status in your marriage. From that stage on if continue to stay engaged with your spouse, it will be like a delicious fine wine.
And so you are wondering if you are not there yet, how can you achieve the fine wine” level in your marriage?
The key is to stay engaged with your spouse, stay connected not just physically but emotionally. Simple as that.
Staying connected with your spouse throughout the years is the hardest thing to do as you grow older.
Staying connected with your spouse throughout the years is the hardest thing to do as you grow older. Why? Because as you evolve in your life you take on many different roles to fulfill, you take on many tasks to complete and you take on many goals to achieve. And some of those roles, tasks, goals take time away from your spouse or do not include your spouse at all.
Let me give you an example. Let’s assume you decide to become parents. You give birth to this beautiful bundle of joy. Now you have a new person to care and attend for. And this baby stage in a marriage is very demanding especially the first three years.
In the first year you have to care for a newborn who if you are lucky to be a stay at home parent, you’ll have to set a schedule that is best for the baby. Which means many sleepless nights that will make you exhausted. This baby stage is so consuming that all you be thinking, breathing and smelling is baby stuff.
Don’t get me wrong this is a beauuttiffuuul stage! I loved it and I’m very grateful that I had the chance to do it my way and stay home the first couple of years of my two babies. But I will not lie to you, it was hard!
Hard not because of the baby, hard because I had my other roles to attend to, the wife and the co-head of the household. That’s when life becomes challenging when we try to do it all. And no matter what anyone says something will always give. And most of the time is the marriage.
The marriage is the one that suffers the most…
The marriage is the one that suffers the most because you assume it’s there and it will never go away. And although may be true in the sense of the word it does go away. If you don’t devote attention to each other sooner or later your spouse will look for the attention somewhere else.
So how do you avoid this? The only way is to maintain staying engaged with your spouse in all the levels of a love relationship. There are no shortcuts on this. Just like there wouldn’t be any shortcuts on creating the finest wine.